


am i in love with you or the thought of you?

by floral___fantasy



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Cheating, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 13:37:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13296006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floral___fantasy/pseuds/floral___fantasy
Summary: Jinyoung comes back into Jihoon's life.[#FANtasticChristmasGA]Prompt: Jinyoung begs Jihoon to come back to him





	am i in love with you or the thought of you?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pinkuesdp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkuesdp/gifts).



> WOOP WOOP i know its late but there were a lot of problems with my computer and i was with my family for like the holidays so i couldn't have time to write ANYWAYS HERE IT IS THE THIRD AND LAST ONE WILL BE POSTED SOON?? (idk when that is shut up) 
> 
> also im @floral___hyuns now so pls keep up  
> JK HAHAHAH

Jihoon sat outside the cafe porch watching people pass by. He sipped his Americano, iced not hot. He felt a warm familiar hand press on his shoulder and it was no other than his boyfriend, Woojin. His boyfriend gave him a cheeky smile and showed off his wonderfully adorable snaggletooth that Jihoon loved so much. Woojin sat across Jihoon bringing along his large chai latte with him. 

 

"That's cute," Jihoon commented on Woojin's drink as he checked the receipt of Woojin's drink. 

 

"Why?" 

 

"From the time we have been dating. I have never pegged you as a chai latte kinda guy," Jihoon leaned on his hand; cupping his face, staring at the man he had been dating for many years.

 

"Then what kind of guy am I?"

 

"Probably more robust," Jihoon smirked.

 

"What kind of coffee is that?!" Woojin snorted at Jihoon's reply.

 

"Jesus, you know, something like espresso or a hard black coffee." 

 

"No. Not my type."

 

"What?! Really?! The more you know I guess," Jihoon slumped back to his chair and raised his drink offering a cheers. 

 

"Jihoon. Excuse me, are you Park Jihoon?" A sudden voice interrupted the two lovers but caught Jihoon's attention with his ever so familiar voice. Jihoon took a glance at the man; his face grew dark as he realized who he was. His mood immediately turned to a 360, it was Bae Jinyoung. The man he swore he would have never see again alas, there they were. "I'm sorry to bother but you're Park Jihoon, right?" Bae Jinyoung calmly smiled to Jihoon as if all of their past was just a passing moment. Jihoon stood up but hesitated before shaking Jinyoung's hand. Jihoon felt it was the polite thing to do and shyly took a grasp. Jinyoung kept contact with Jihoon's eyes as he shook the other man's hand. Before he could let go, Jihoon felt Jinyoung's grasp hesitating to let go but he awkwardly released their hands in a bind. 

 

"It's been a long time, hasn't it?" Jihoon sadly smiled to Jinyoung. 

 

"Too long. I've missed you," Jinyoung's voice sounded so sincere while it broke Jihoon's heart. 

 

"Well, uh, this is my boyfriend, Woojin," Jihoon awkwardly introduced Woojin. Woojin simply gave a quick and short 'hi' before he started to ignore the two boys again. 

 

"Boyfriend?" Jinyoung's tone sounded sharp and pierced through Jihoon's heart. 

 

"Yeah..." Jihoon looked down to the floor to not meet Jinyoung's eyes. 

 

"I see," There was an awkward pause. "Well, it was nice seeing you again. I really missed you Jihoon," Jinyoung smiled again to Jihoon now pulling in for a hug. Jinyoung pressed their bodies closer than any hug then whispered into Jihoon's ear, "I would really like to talk with you soon." Jinyoung secretly slipped a small card in one of Jihoon's jacket pocket. Jihoon forcefully pulled away but Jinyoung didn't react. Jinyoung just smiled and took off on his way. Jihoon's eyes followed Jinyoung's path until he was put of sight. Jihoon sat back down to his seat when Woojin looked at him oddly. 

 

"Who was that guy?" Woojin asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

 

"Uh. My ex," Jihoon said in a daze, he still couldn't believe that he had just bumped into the guy that he had never wanted to see again. The worst part was, Jinyoung wanted to see him again. Woojin's eyes grew in surprised and animatedly jumped out of his chair. 

 

"HIM?! THAT'S YOUR EX?! THE INFAMOUS ASSHOLE THAT CHEATED ON YOU!" Woojin yelled causing people to stared at them. Jihoon pulled Woojin down back to his chair and apologized to the people around them. Jihoon shushed his man before he caused a bigger scene. Jihoon looked around to see if anyone was still listening in before he could explain himself. He quietly leaned towards Woojin and signaled the man to come closer. When they were close enough to each other, Jihoon slapped Woojin suddenly, for being so loud. "Ow! What the fuck?!" 

 

"That was for earlier. Don't fucking yell we're in a public area!" 

 

"Hey, to be fair, I just witnessed my boyfriend awkwardly bump into his ex as his ex proceeded to flirt with him!" Woojin shot back. 

 

"We were not flirting!" Jihoon defended. 

 

"Then what was that look on his face, huh? You can't deny that he may still have a thing for you." 

 

"That's what I'm afraid of," Jihoon fiddled with his coffee straw. He stirred the ice cubes floating around the plastic cup, sighing to himself. "Our relationship was complicated. I mean I met him a long time ago," The young man continued as he bit his lower lip. 

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

Jihoon met Jinyoung when he was 20 while Jinyoung was 19. Jihoon met Jinyoung through a mutual friend, Lee Daehwi. Apparently Jinyoung and Daehwi were close, as in close. There were rumors of them dating or sleeping around with each other but from what Jihoon saw they were just friends. Daehwi started to drag along Jihoon everywhere he went with Jinyoung and so in the end, Jihoon started to take a liking to Jinyoung. 

 

After a few short months of hanging out and talking, Jihoon finally confessed to Jinyoung. The younger happily accepted his feelings and they began to go out with each other. They were happy. At least that's what Jihoon thought.

 

They been dating for almost a year now and it was Jihoon's final year in college and for some strange reason, Jihoon didn't really feel that he was dating Jinyoung. It wasn't like he was a bad boyfriend or anything. He listened to Jihoon when he had problems or when he just wanted to talk. Their dates were fine. They kissed. Had sex, here and there. But Jinyoung was always distant. It bothered Jihoon. He felt like he was dating a soulless husk of a boyfriend. Jihoon was annoyed at Jinyoung, maybe he was more annoyed at himself. Jihoon felt like skipping classes from his heavy feelings and from his sleepless nights that was causing him his physical fatigue. Jihoon felt like talking to Jinyoung then decided to go to his dorm. He knew Jinyoung didn't have any classes by this time so it was probably it was good to talk to him. There was his first mistake. 

 

Jihoon was about to used his extra key to open Jinyoung dorm room but to his surprise it was unlocked. Jihoon slowly creeped into the foyer to check if anyone was home. Jihoon hoped that Jinyoung's dorm wasn't broken into or worse. Jihoon safely made it inside without causing any sound. He hear shuffling noises coming from one of the rooms. Jihoon's heart stopped, was the robber still here? Jihoon made his way to the hallway of rooms and heard the shuffling sounds grow louder and louder in Jinyoung's room. Jihoon held the doorknob but hesitated to confront whatever was making the noises. 

 

"Ah, fuck it," Jihoon whispered in a low tone to himself before opening Jinyoung's door. But when he opened it, it was far worse. He had witnessed Jinyoung's half-naked body toppling over his friend, Daehwi, kissing, touching, and more. Jihoon's heart dropped and fell onto the floor. Jinyoung stopped and Daehwi pushed him off his body. 

 

"Jihoonie hyung," Jinyoung's voice pierced through Jihoon's heart. It always did. No matter what he said. No matter what he did. Jihoon loved his voice. 

 

"I think, I need to go..." Jihoon weakly crawled on the hallway floor before he found strength in his legs to walk again. Jinyoung offered Jihoon a hand but Jihoon roughly pushed him away. His eyes were welling up and didn't want to show his tears. He repeatedly clicked the elevator button to escape from the scene. Jinyoung tried to catch up by the elevator but he couldn't stop him. Jihoon had fled to his single apartment he had been renting since his first year of college. He hid in his room for hours until there were various different knocks on his door but he didn't have the strength to open it. 

 

* * *

 

It was nearing midnight and Jihoon's apartment door opened. It was Guanlin. His younger foreign friend he shared a philosophy elective with. Jihoon gave Guanlin a spare key when he told him it was for emergencies only. Of course Guanlin abused that key and always slipped in to raid Jihoon's refrigerator. The Taiwanese friend opened Jihoon's bedroom door and saw him sitting on his bed, huddled up in his blankets. 

 

"Hyung..." Guanlin slowly approached Jihoon with caution. Jihoon looked at Guanlin with eyes that wished that they were better off dead. His tear stained face distorted his naturally beautiful face. "Where have you been?! Jinyoung hyung had been trying to contact you!" 

 

"Jinyoung..." 

 

"Yeah… is there something happening between you two?" Guanlin threaded lightly, hoping not to upset the older man. Jihoon suddenly couldn't talk. He couldn't just say. 'Jinyoung cheated on me.' Jihoon swallowed hard, trying to stop himself from saying such a horrid thing. He still didn't want to velieve that his Jinyoung could do that him. Jihoon looked up to the younger and forced a smile to give him ease. 

 

"There's nothing wrong with us," Jihoon lied. "It's just me." 

 

"Hyung, you don't look so good," Guanlin placed his hand on Jihoon's face, trying to check his temperature. 

 

"I swear it's nothing," Jihoon pushed Guanlin's hand away but meeting his eyes. He saw Guanlin's concerned face so close to his. Jihoon gave nothing left and pressed his lips then entering Guanlin's mouth. Guanlin reciprocated the kiss and gave more. 

 

Guanlin pushed Jihoon to lay down on his bed then removed his shirt as if this was instinct. Jihoon gave in to every kiss, touch, and more. At that moment it didn't feel right or wrong, it just felt good. Jihoon didn't care anout the consequences on the day to come the next day. Guanlin didn't seem to care nor did he know what he was doing. 

 

They had sex. Jihoon woke up before Guanlin and stared at his naked back. Jihoon eyed Guanlin's scratches on his back he had received last night. Jihoon still felt nothing.

 

Guanlin woke up alone on the bed, he wondered where Jihoon was and searched the bed for signs of his whereabouts. Guanlin made it down the hall to the living room and saw Jihoon sitting alone on the living room couch. 

 

"We made a mistake," Jihoon said but didn't look at Guanlin. 

 

"...I know. I'm sorry." 

 

"Don't be, it's not your fault. I'm the one who started it. We should end it before it begins. I have... Jinyoungie," His name stung Jihoon's mouth, it didn't matter to Jinyoung, he already had forgotten about Jihoon. He had already thrown his heart away. 

 

"I know you do. That's why I'm going to call Jinyoung hyung!" Guanlin bursted 

 

"What?!" Jihoon heart jumped in the wrong way. "W-why would you do that?!" He stuttered. 

 

"I'm sorry! I was stupid, I thought I could make it better..." 

 

"Shit. Now we gotta meet up with Jinyoung. You know he's persistent if we don't talk with him." 

 

"I'm sorry, hyung." 

 

"No, it's alright Guanlin ah. I'm still bound to talk to him." 

 

* * *

 

Jihoon fidgeted beside Guanlin as they had agreed to meet Jinyoung by the coffeeshop near campus. They sat on the cafe porch, quietly waiting for Jinyoung. Guanlin awkwardly held Jihoon's hand in comfort but Jihoon slowly pulled back. Jinyoung came into the scene with their so called 'mutual friend,' Daehwi. 

 

Jinyoung sat across Jihoon and Daehwi followed. Jihoon couldn't meet Jinyoung's eyes so he watched his hands play with the paper that they gave in with the straw. He ripped and played with the paper until Jinyoung pointed it out for him to stop. 

 

"Jihoonie hyung. Stop that," Then he stopped. "You know it's really distracting." 

 

"Yeah... sorry."

 

"So... what did you call me here for—" 

 

"Jihoon and I slept together!" Guanlin blurted out loudly for almost everyone to hear. Causing surprise in Jinyoung, Daehwi and other people's face as they listened in. Jihoon looked down on the ground refusing to meet Jinyoung's face. Guanlin realized his mistake. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," Flustered, Guanlin escaped from the scene causing more eyes to come back at Jihoon's table. Jinyoung was caught unguarded and left speechless with what to say next. 

 

“Fucking idiot,” Jihoon groaned and buried his face into his arms.

 

"I can't believe you!" Daehwi broke the silence. "Why would you sleep with Guanlin all of a sudden?" Daehwi sighed to catch his breath. "Is it because you saw us? Did you want revenge or was it because you felt angry? Listen, I'm sorry that you had to see us—" 

 

"Sorry that I had to see it or sorry that you even done it?" Jihoon snapped back. "Was I supposed be okay with seeing my friend sleep with my boyfriend?" Jihoon gritted his teeth, trying to hold back his anger. "I'm sorry that I'm a fucking slut like you, Lee Daehwi! At least, I sleep with guys that don't already have boyfriends!" Jihoon leaned towards Daehwi taunting him. "I just can't do what you do! How long was it? How long have you been fucking my boyfriend?!" Jinyoung interjected by slapping Jihoon right across the face for Jihoon to stop. Daehwi's eyes were full of tears and fled before it got worse. Jihoon fell back into his chair in shock of what Jinyoung just did. Maybe Jihoon did push it too far. Maybe he intimidated Daehwi too much.

 

"You don't know what he's been through, Jihoon," Jinyoung defended. "You had no right to say that!" 

 

"I'm the one that gets cheated on. Now, I have no right to say those things. Aren't I the victim?" Jihoon's voice shook. 

 

"It's not how it's supposed to be. Forget it. I'm leaving. We're over," Jinyoung pushed back his chair and left Jihoon alone. 

 

Jihoon sat alone on the cafe porch, crouching his back on the table. He let out all his tears, not giving a damn about people around him. "Shouldn't I be the one breaking up with you?!" Jihoon screamed to himself, pretending as if Jinyoung was still there. As if he said it earlier. "You're the one who's fucking my best friend! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!" Jihoon kicked and shook the table with more eyes watching him. Jihoon sat down embarrassed, as he let his tear flow. People started to look away but Jihoon quietly wept. 

 

* * *

 

When Jihoon had finally calmed down, his eyes were red and swollen from crying and laid his head down the cafe table, waiting for someone to kick him out. Jihoon saw a large cup of coffee placed down right in front of him. Jihoon looked up and saw a tanned skin man that looked just the same height as him, sipping on his hot winter special drink. The guy looked back at Jihoon and pushed the drink closer to Jihoon's direction, signalling him as an offer to drink it. Jihoon slowly took the  drink onto his lips and blew into it a couple of times before proceeding to drink it. The man looked expectedly at Jihoon but Jihoon simply nodded his thanks. The man embarrassedly turned away, showing the tint of red in his ears. "Thank you," Jihoon said. 

 

"No problem. I'm Woojin by the way. Park Woojin." 

 

"Park Jihoon," Jihoon smiled, from that horrible moment became the best moment in Jihoon’s life. 

  

* * *

* * *

 

"Wait, so you're saying the day we met, was the day he broke up with you?" 

 

"Yup." 

 

"Man, I knew you were heartbroken at that time so I didn't bother asking. I didn't know. It took me five fucking year to know this shit!" Woojin scoffed in disbelief.

 

"It's alright. I don't usually talk about that...stuff."

 

"I get that. But listen that Jinyoung guy was a jerk. I can't believe him. You should never talk to that guy. Ever. Again." 

 

"Don't worry I don't have plans to do so." 

 

"Good," Woojin smiled to Jihoon, giving him the least but of assurance. Woojin puffed like a small child and Jihoon smiled at his boyfriend's antics.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon came home exhausted from his coffee date with Woojin. He placed his messenger bag right on top of the kitchen counter as he emptied his pockets filled with spare change. Jihoon felt a small edge surprise him and took the thing out of his pocket. It was a business card. Jihoon flipped over the card and saw Bae Jinyoung's contact details written in plain black. Jihoon scanned the card even further, noting Jinyoung's workplace and phone number. Jihoon bit his lower lip as he remembered what Jinyoung whispered into his ear. 

 

"I really missed you Jihoon," He still recalled Jinyoung's smooth low voice that always caused Jihoon in a trance. Jihoon knew he was making a mistake the moment he reached down and grabbed his phone then immediately typing down Jinyoung's number. Jihoon gulped. His heart was racing and his mind was boggling. He knew he shouldn't call Jinyoung but his finger acted too soon and hit the call button. Jihoon raced his phone to his ear; he heard the phone ringing as his heart was pounding. After a couple of rings, Jihoon made a quick decision to hang up. Jihoon sighed because he felt like a fucking idiot. He ruffled his hair in frustration while his phone started to vibrate. Jihoon's heart jumped. To his phone it was an unknown number. To Jihoon, it was his. Jihoon hesitated before reaching out; he wanted to stop himself then didn't when he picked up the call. 

 

"Jihoon," Jinyoung's voice calmly called him.

 

"...Yeah. How... How did you know?" 

 

"Had a feeling," Jihoon felt Jinyoung's lips curve into his cheeky smile. "I'm glad it's you," Jihoon did not reply. "Are you free tonight? Let me take you out." 

 

"I don't think that necessa—" 

 

"Please. I want to. C'mon hyung. Let's talk," Jihoon was like putti in Jinyoung hands and faltered before he could answer. Jinyoung already knew Jihoon would say yes but he wanted to hear Jihoon say it himself. "Hyung?" 

 

"I'll go. It'll be nice to catch up," Jihoon soughed into the phone. 

 

"Great! I'll send you the address. I'll see you later, right hyung?" 

 

"Of course I'll see you tonight." 

 

"Wait hyung," Jinyoung halted him.

 

 "Yeah?" 

 

"Please just let it be the two of us. No other... distractions," Jihoon knew he meant Woojin. 

 

"Yes, of course. I'll see you at dinner," With that Jihoon hung up. Jihoon's legs became fluid and slid down the floor. He hung his head, hitting to the kitchen counter. Jihoon looked at his phone. He pressed the lock button to reveal a loving photo of him and Woojin together. Jihoon stared at the lockscreen until it faded into black again then repeated the cycle. 

 

* * *

 

Jihoon thought they were meeting in a much more casual place than where he was invited. It was a fancy five star hotel with a killer restaurant on the fifth floor. Jihoon felt antsy then tugged on his khaki jacket sleeve as he adjusted his length. He nervously waited by the hotel lobby, he admired the high ceilings and other architectural aspects of the hotel. A a deep dark voice called behind his back and he quickly turned to see Jinyoung. 

 

"Jihoon!" Jinyoung pulled Jihoon into a hug. "I didn't think you would come." 

 

"I mean I said I would," Jihoon released himself from Jinyoung's grasp. "Did you think I would just bail on you?" 

 

"I mean, I wouldn't put it passed you." 

 

"That's a bit harsh," Jihoon awkwardly smiled as Jinyoung started to lead him to the elevators.

 

"Not really hyung, I mean. Ex-boyfriend inviting you to dinner. Fancy hotel. Fancy restaurant. Jesus christ, you're just in jeans!" Jinyoung dismissed Jihoon's thoughts. Jihoon fidgeted with his jacket sleeved, he felt Jinyoung berate him in such a humbling way. Jihoon gritted his teeth. He stopped his tongue from snapping back.  "C'mon hyung, don't be like that," Jinyoung scoffed as they entered the elevator door open. 

 

They stood so far from each other, sometimes Jihoon eyed Jinyoung's two-piece pinstripe suit, he looked so clean and chic being more and more insecure with his outfit. 

 

"This suit doesn't cost as much as you think," Jinyoung broke their silence, he did not even spare a look to Jihoon.

 

"It looks good on you..." 

 

"I know, that's why I wore it," Right on cue the elevator opened up to the luxurious restaurant foyer. Jinyoung stepped out first and kindly lead Jihoon to their table. The waiters and hostess nodded to Jinyoung, to assume that they were close. "My father owns this franchise of hotels so I come here often," Jihoon wondered why he didn't know this or why Jinyoung had not mention nor brought him here. Jihoon also wondered if Jinyoung brought Daehwi here. Jihoon scanned the packed restaurant with rich socialites that drank the most expensive wine without a care. Jinyoung pulled out Jihoon's chair and he awkwardly seated himself down. Jinyoung smiled to the waiters as they handed him the menu. "You see anything you like?" 

 

"Yeah, but I don't think I can afford any of these," Jihoon's eyes grew as he saw the prices on the menu. 

 

"Don't worry about that, it's my treat," Jinyoung placed his hand on top of Jihoon's. Jihoon slowly pulled away from him. 

 

"That's... That's really nice of you, but are you sure?" 

 

"Yeah! It's no problem at all! I am the one who invited you," Jinyoung gestured one of the waiters forward. Within an instant they arrive. "We'll have the steak and the usual," Jinyoung gave back his menu to the waiter and he nodded his head.

 

"Excellent choice, sir. Would you like some wine with that?" 

 

"Wine is fine, thank you," Jinyoung chicly shooed away the waiter and brought all his attention back to Jihoon. "You'll like the food. You always do," Jinyoung smiled. 

 

"I mean, that's true," Jihoon stiffly laughed. Jinyoung laughed with him then lovingly looked back to Jihoon's eyes. 

 

"You look beautiful when you smile."

 

"Th-thank you, but you don't have to say that." 

 

"But it's true," Jinyoung took another gander and held Jihoon's hands. He intertwined his fingers with Jihoon's. He caused a small fuss with Jihoon as he tried to politely untangle his fingers. "I'm sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable." 

 

"It's just isn't that. You know that I have Woojin and you have... Daehwi," Jihoon swallowed knives as he said his old friend's name. 

 

"Daehwi and I broke up. It was a long time ago." 

 

"So what? You look to be in another affair? You like ruining my life?" Jihoon stung back. "I... I'm... sorry. I didn't mean to," Jihoon quickly apologized. 

 

"No, it's understandable. What we did was wrong. I'm sorry about that." 

 

"A little too late." 

 

"Jihoon." 

 

"I'm...sorry." 

 

"I really did love Daehwi. I liked you a lot but I loved Daehwi. What about Guanlin what ever happened to him?”

 

“Well he didn’t call me afterwards. I guess the prick started avoiding me and we never met again. I guess he thought I’d hate him. Whatever.”

 

“Too bad,” 

 

“Why?” 

 

“I thought you guys looked good together.” 

 

“I’m not gonna date someone I fucked because I was cheated on. It’s not fair.”

 

“You can learn to love him.” 

 

“Yeah, just like you right?”

 

“We didn’t just fuck, okay? It was more than you think.” 

 

"...so?" 

 

"Hm?" 

 

"So why didn't you just break up with me earlier. So you could be with Daehwi."

 

"It wasn't like that. I always loved Daehwi even before you came into the picture. When I met you, I thought I could love you." 

 

* * *

* * *

 

Jinyoung loved Daehwi. For a the longest time he did. Daehwi didn’t see it. Jinyoung wanted him to but Daehwi kept pushing other people for him when all Jinyoung wanted was to be with Daehwi. Recently, Daehwi had been pushing the most beautiful boy, Park Jihoon, onto Jinyoung but he didn’t have the heart to tell him no. Jinyoung was kind enough to Jihoon, he just hoped he didn't get the wrong idea.

 

Then one day, Daehwi whispered into Jinyoung's ears. 

 

"Park Jihoon likes you!" Daehwi giggled and nudged his friend.

 

But Jinyoung didn't like Jihoon. Not like he hated him. He had felt not felt the same way that he did with Daehwi. But Daehwi didn't want that. Daehwi wanted Jinyoung to be with Jihoon. So it happened. 

 

Jinyoung only dated Jihoon because Daehwi revealed to been trying to hook them up for almost three months. Jihoon glowed and shined when he was with Jinyoung. He must love him very much. Too bad, Jinyoung didn't. 

 

Jinyoung had spent a year with Jihoon and he still couldn't find himself to love Jihoon the same way he did with Daehwi. Jinyoung wanted to break up with Jihoon. 

 

Jinyoung consoled with his friend, Daehwi, before sealing the deal but he had his arguments. 

 

"How could you want to break up with Park Jihoon?! He's Park Jihoon for a reason!" 

 

"I just don't feel anything." 

 

"What?! You're insane! For the first time in your life you have everything going the way you wanted! A boyfriend! Good grades! Your dad not pestering you about the business! I don't know what else you—"

 

"Why can't I have that with you?!" 

 

"What are you saying?" 

 

"Daehwi, I love you." 

 

“I love you too.” 

 

The rest happened to fast. It was all blurry to Jinyoung but the next moments were engraved into Jihoon's heart. Jinyoung and Daehwi were making out on his bed then Jinyoung undressed his shirt then went back to Daehwi’s hungry lips. Jihoon came in suddenly and it was a rush. Jinyoung remembered running after Jihoon then missed him by the elevators. He called and called then asked their friends about Jihoon. Did Jinyoung make a mistake? He didn’t know. 

 

* * *

* * *

 

Jihoon didn't know how it happened but Jihoon was lured into Jinyoung's hotel room. Jihoon knew where all this was going and needed to escape. 

"I think I need to go—" Jihoon was cut off when Jinyoung got closer and closer to Jihoon until he forced himself onto him. Their bodies fell on the bed and Jihoon struggled to get him off him. Once the broke from their kiss, Jihoon violently pushed Jinyoung off his body and wiped his dirtied lips. "What was that?!" 

 

"I'm sorry, I just—"

 

"You just what?! Jinyoung you broke up with me! Now we're in a hotel room and you kissed me?! I have someone else!" 

 

"I just missed you Jihoon! The moment I had you out of my life, the moment I realized how much you meant! It was a mistake!" Jinyoung confessed. 

 

"Meeting you was a mistake," Jihoon got off the bed and headed towards the exit. 

 

"Jihoon wait! I miss you, I need you. I love you!" Jinyoung went onto his knees and begged.

 

"You don't love me, you loved the idea of me. That I was always there. That I was your stupid little pawn that was dumb enough to believe what you say. When your at fault, you make me the bad guy. I can't live like that, I have someone else," Jihoon remembered when he first met Woojin. The way Woojin didn't need to say words to cheer him but the silence and presence of him meant the world to Jihoon. "And I'm happy!" Jihoon didn't simply throw himself onto Woojin. Woojin stayed with him for five years and within those five years, they were best friends first. Woojin made Jihoon feel good about himself inside and out. Unlike Jinyoung, who couldn't anything above the surface. "I loved you too. But that was before and this is now. Goodbye, Jinyoung, please never contact me again," Jihoon said with a smile before he left. He left Jinyoung in a daze, broken, quite angry and sad. Jihoon left the hotel as if it never happened. Though he realised so many things today. Jinyoung will never love him the way he did. Jihoon never either loved him back, he just loved being with him. It didn't make him feel good. It didn't make him happy either.   


Jihoon had someone who did all of that and he felt loved. 

**Author's Note:**

> remember kids love yourself first before you love others. or get someone that helps you love yourself.


End file.
